Cloth Diapering: My Journey to become a CD Momma

I had always loved seeing all the cute fluffy bums and prints but never really made the dive into becoming a cloth diapering mom. I had bought some pocket diapers to try it out but just could never get into it. I didn't like how it looked on Adylee or the constant laundry (I only had 5) so I decided to quit and go back to regular pampers until she was potty trained.

Well, recently I hit a financial snag and really needed a way to stop spending $50 on diapers every week. Between home, going places and daycare I was going through boxes of diapers much faster than I liked. I had a talk with one of my parents at my daycare who cloth diapers and I asked her how much she saved. When she told me, my jaw hit the floor. I never realized how much I had spent on diapers in a year and 6 months. So I decided to go with a different route of diapers than the pockets. I looked and looked and had remembered that my parent told me that her Flip diapers were her absolute favorite. So I decided to buy some covers and inserts. I was hooked!

We now have 15 inserts and 9 covers with one on the way and I plan on buying more in a few days. I love the prints on them, clean up is easy, washing them is a breeze and they fit Adylee very well. I am super pleased with the Flip brand of cloth diapers. 

I know inserts and covers aren't very every cloth diapering momma but for me they have worked the best. I find them to be so much more easier than pockets and I really can't wait to make the plunge into doing them all the time. Right now we only use the cloth diapers at home because it's a bit hard for her teacher at daycare to do two cloth diapered kids and especially cause they are using the same brand and colors. Just easier so nothing gets mixed up. But soon I plan on getting rid of Pampers unless we are going out to the store or when she is sleeping. 

I highly suggest that if you are a new mom wanting to cloth diaper, a mom who stopped and wants to get back in it or a mom who just wants to try them that you try out the Flip diaper system. You may fall in love like I did!!

Adylee's First Birthday Party: Diva Turns One

Adylees birthday party was on the 5th and we had an absolute blast! She had so much fun and got lots of new toys and some clothes too!

She was definitely the diva for the day! We had lots of fun playing with friends and family all afternoon until it was time for presents and cake! 

She absolutely hated the smash cake part. I don't know if it was the icing, everyone watching her or that she is still hat boring a double ear infection. But she made faces and cried till I washed her up. But her cake was gorgeous!!!

Her favorite toys from her party would have to be her kitchen from me and her fourwheeler from my aunt. She loves them and plays with them everyday. She even goes to the door and points to it wanting us to take her out on her fourwheeler.

Adylees first birthday party was a complete success! It was my first time ever throwing a party so I was very nervous but it went smoothly. I wish her dad could've been there, of course, but things don't always work out the way you want them to. 

It's hard to believe that she is now a peddler still. I'm sure I'll get used to it eventually. It's only been a week ;) 

You're gonna do great things, I already know...

Since Adylee has turned one I have been thinking about the life that I want her to live. I obviously want nothing but the absolute best for her but I know that her life isn't going to perfect. Because face it, no one's is. Even the celebrities go through trials and tribulations that are much deeper than who they were spotted with this weekend at the club.

I just want Adylee to grow up knowing that she is loved unconditionally. I sometimes get this feeling of failure because things didn't work out like they should have with her dad. I'm not 100% blamess in our relationship but most of the issues did come from him. I gave it my all and it just wasn't enough. You can't change someone who doesn't want to change. And he didn't care to change nor want my help. I chose to walk away because of Adylee. She deserved so much more than that. She deserved to be in a house full of smiles, laughter and most importantly love. 

I want Adylee to be an independent and a strong woman. That no dream is too big or too impossible for her to achieve. She has been my anchor throughout this past year and I know that one day I will have to be that for her and that's the day I look forward too. I want to be able to give her guidance and tell her what the right path may be but I am also going to let her fall down and get back up again. 

I know that she is going to do great things in her life she just has that quality about her. I can't wait to watch her grow into the person she is meant to become. 

12 Month Update: My now 1 year old

As I sit here writing this, I am in tears. I seriously can't believe that my little newborn baby is now a one year old. Where did the time go? I feel like just yesterday I gave birth to this amazing miracle who changed my world the minute she let out her first cry. When they laid her head on my chest, I instantly knew what unconditional love was and as soon as I looked into her eyes I knew that my life was never going to be the same. I was a different person from that second on. This little helpless human being would now depend on me to bathe, feed, change, and teach her how to become an amazing woman. 

I am so grateful to be her mom. That God chose me to be her teacher and guide her through this crazy, mixed up life. I feel like she was given to me to show me how life can change in a minute but how it's always for the better. I would not trade a single minute of this last year for anything. I learned so much about myself, my daughter, and the person I want her to be as well as the person I want to be. Even though it was not the easiest year by any means, it was still a great one. As Lee Brice has says in his song, "I wouldn't trade a single day for a hundred years the other way." 

Every single day is a blessing to me. Especially because of all the issues that her and I went through during my pregnancy and labor. I will always say that she is my miracle baby. She survived things that she probably shouldn't have. She is perfect in every single way. I could not imagine not having her in my life. I can't even remember who I was before I had her. 

Now that it's just me and her I have vowed to myself and to her that I will make sure she has every single thing she needs and wants. She will get the best of everything and then some. But most importantly, I will love her unconditionally. I don't ever want her to feel that she is not loved in any way because she is. I love her more than I love anything in this world. She's given me more than she knows. 

Today we also went to the dr and she got shots :( but she was a trooper through them! She's officially off the Prevacid for her acid reflux! Doctor said she was growing and developing right on track. Sadly she has an ear infection so she couldn't get her shots but once her fever goes away then I can take her in to get them. Other than that she was perfect! 

After her doctors appointment, we met my mom for lunch. She loves her Nana. My mom had wanted to spend the day with her but she couldn't take off so we decided lunch would be better. We had a great time and then made our way down to the mall for some mommy & daughter time at Build A Bear where she made her own bear named Lovebug!  She absolutely loves her.  We also hit up The Children's Place where we picked up some cheetah boots and a onesie for when it starts getting cooler. 

After that, we went to pick up her first birthday pictures (some are in this post) and then we went up home where we had a cupcake for her birthday and opened up a few gifts from Mommy as well as Nana and Papa. 

She got mega blocks that came with a cart from me. Nana and Papa got her the Sofia the First talking doll. She's loving her toys as you can see! Haha. The best ones are to come when she has her birthday party!!! 

Adylee is 100% off the bottle as of a couple days ago! My goal to get off the bottle by one was achieved! She's on whole milk now and loves it! We are still taking a pacifier and I don't plan on breaking that anytime soon unless she starts to do that herself. By 2 though she will be off it completely. 

Now onto some facts about my princess:

-Is wearing a size 4-4.5 in shoes but slowly growing into a 5

-Wears a size 12-18 month in clothing depending on brand

-Loves anything that has music

-Loves balls

-Is a total momma's girl

-Has been saying some new words or rather variations of what should be words haha. Such as, "down" and "thank you"

-Weighs 22 lbs and 7 oz 

-Is 29 and 3/4" tall

-Her head circumference is 18"

-Loves it when you scare her or pretend to chase her

-Decided to call my mom "MiMi" instead of Nana like we have been telling her to say

-Has been very attached to her pacifier and her lovey lately

-Is sleeping in her own room now so the co-sleeping has been cut down to a bare minimum.

-She's been falling asleep in her crib by herself more lately rather than falling asleep with me and then moving her to the crib 

-Is now going to daycare full time and loves it! 

-She can blow kisses now

This little girls smile is all I need to brighten up my day. She's all I need. I am so thankful for all the help I've gotten along the way this year. I wouldn't have been able to do it without it. Now starts the fun part of raising a child! My little baby is officially a one year old and a toddler. She's no longer an infant. She's becoming such a big girl and I am so proud of her. I have truly been blessed beyond belief. It can only get better from here on out! 

When she says "mama" I melt....

It's so sad that I have to be a single mom to Adylee since her father decided to remove himself from our lives. But I know that it's only for the best. She knows who loves her and who provides for her. She's my best friend. When I hear her say "mama" at 3 am I can't help but melt into pieces. She needs me. That's when I feel the unconditional love. No matter how much money I make, what I did that day or what I couldn't buy her....she still loves me and she always will. 

Nursery Theme Idea!

I have decided to change Adylee's nursery theme because we are starting a new chapter in our lives this week and it's time to take out the old and start with the new. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out a cute new theme for her that doesn't involve animal print because I want her to have something new and fresh obviously. 

Then I came across this on Pintrest....

And I decided that I had to do a pink and navy theme that has anchors incorporated  Basically a nautical theme but I'm not going to be doing a lot of the fish aspects. Just mainly doing anchors and adding in a few whales. Lots of stripes, chevron and polka dots though!

I will be painting one wall a navy blue and maybe do it half pink as well. I wanna try and replace knobs on her furniture to look something like the below picture.

I'm going to mod podge outlet covers to look something like this:

And lots more navy and pink with the nautical accents. I can't wait to start bringing this idea together after her birthday party. It's been a long time coming for us to start over fresh and new. I have recently become obsessed with anchors and really want to have one of her murals be the anchor that Carter's had on their shirt because I am in love with that design. I plan on also getting an anchor tattooed on me somewhere. Adylee is my anchor and it's only fitting that she now have a theme to express that. 

Planning Adylee's First Birthday!!

I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what I should write next because I want to keep up with this blog more than I have been. So I decided to write a little one about some of the plans I have for miss Adylee's first birthday party that is coming up in just a few weeks.

Her theme was probably the hardest to pick! I had originally wanted to go with cheetah and pink but with the way I wanted to cheetah to look being nearly impossible to find I settled for something a little more Adylee. 

So I picked the one above!! It says "Diva's First Birthday." Which is 100% Adylee and it has both zebra and cheetah. Not to mention that black and pink are my favorite color combination. :)

I am not going to get every single thing in this picture because I do wanna try and save some money on the decorations so I have decided to buy and make some things myself as well as add in a few things. I will be getting everything pink and black to match the theme as well as throwing in the zebra

I plan on making my own happy birthday banner out of card stock, my own collage using mod podge in case I am not able to order the newborn to 1 year photo banner that I want, and my own chalkboard print that will have facts about Adylee on it. As well as making tissue paper pom poms!

One thing I am really excited about doing that I have not seen done before at any of the parties I have gone to is taking a soup can and decorating it to house your silverware for the party. It's so innovative and cheap!

As you may have seen in my other post, I made her tutu for her birthday outfit. 

In addition to this, she will have a black onesie that will have a zebra 1 and have her name underneath in a hot pink/neon. Once I get the picture from the lady making it off etsy I will post :)

I also had a birthday candle made for her that will go on her smash cake. It was hand painted to match her theme but the cheetah side to it since most of the decorations will be zebra print or just pink.

Now onto her cake! I have decided that I won't be doing the traditional cake and smash cake combo. Instead I am having one of my co-workers make her smash cake out of fondant which will be zebra print. Then I will be baking cupcakes and putting hot pink and black frosting on them. Because not everyone eats cake but they do eat cupcakes!

Food wise we're just going to be doing finger foods for the kids like popcorn chicken and for the adults I'm going to have cuban sandwiches. Sides are going to be pasta salad and some fruits and veggies. In addition to that, I'm gonna make graham crackers dipped in chocolate and pink sprinkles for the kids to snack on. I will also be making the zebra & pink cookies that go around on Pintrest alot. Both will be something like what I have pictured below that I got from Pintrest.

Goody bags I am just going to have a candy bar station set up that'll have baby and kid friendly stuff along with a few things for the adults. I'm not going to go all out on goody bags because most of the time you just end up throwing half of the stuff out. The candy will also be like what is pictured above. Something that will go with her theme.

As you can see, everything is going to be pink, black & zebra! Some of our favorite things! I am so excited to start getting everything in order since we only have 3 weeks until her birthday party! I can't wait. It's going to be so much fun decorating and making these things because what I make can last her for a while and can also go into her nursery if I don't decide to change it haha.

It's in Gods hands....

Honestly, I don't know how much more I can take. It's always an up and down battle with Bill. He's either so in love with me or he wants nothing to so with me. I'm tired of him hurting me. 

It's not fair to Adylee either. She needs her father around. But she needs someone who is going to be there for her. For every scraped knee to every accomplishment. And so far, he hasn't. That's probably what's hurts the most. 

I'm tired of giving and giving and getting absolutely nothing in return. I can't give my all and not get his all back. Love and relationships are a two way street. Not a one way alley. 

So right now, I'm leaving it up to God. It's all in His hands. I'm not going to sit here and try to force anything. What's meant to be will be. Until then, I'm just gonna keep on praying for an answer. 

11 Month Update

I literally can't believe that my princess is now 11 months old! Only one more month and she'll be a year old. YIKES! This year has flown by so fast. I don't know where the time went. I feel like one minute I'm counting down the hours until I went into labor and now I have an almost one year old child. 

Adylee is weighing 22 lbs and 9 oz these days. BIG GIRL! I seriously don't know where she gets the weight from because she only drinks three 6 oz bottles and then one 8 oz bottle and she has weeks where she just munches. So I was shocked when the doctor told me that at her last visit. Height wise I'm not sure because her doctor only does those on her monthly visits and she doesn't have another one of those till next month. 

Her main thing these days are balls. She is addicted to them. Anytime she sees one she grabs it and won't let go. The minute I try to take it, oh good lord, all hell is breaking loose. 

Her other favorite toy is her baby doll. She loves it and it has to be in her crib with her when she sleeps. She doesn't always cuddle with it but I think knowing its there makes her happy.

Aside from that, she has a huge attachment to me. I expect that since she's only ever been with me. I get a lot of crap for it from everyone but I love it. I'm glad that she knows that with her Mama she is safe from harm. We do a lot of co-sleeping these days so I know that adds to the attachment issues even more. Recently, I began co-bathing and I love it! Such a relaxing time with your baby.

As you can tell from the above picture she is such a little diva and anyone who knows her would vouch for that. Sad part is that she knows it too haha. She can throw a temper tantrum with the best of them these days. But, no matter how mad she gets at me she still comes running up to me just to give me a big hug and a kiss. Those are the moments that make all the temper tantrums worth it.

She's a full blown walker now and it is nearly impossible for me to get a picture of her standing still. As soon as I start to walk back she's walking towards me haha. She's a little ham sometimes. She's also learned a few new words lately: no, mo (more), and yeah. I'm working on "up" right now but shes being stubborn. And still...no teeth. GRRRR!

I am so excited to see what this next month is going to bring us. I feel like every month is different. She either says something or does something new. I am always so proud in those moments. They make me feel like I am doing something right when it comes to her. Like I am actually teaching her and helping her learn. I always blame myself for when something goes wrong with her development because I was so sick and because I had to take so many medications. I know I shouldn't but I do. And when she learns something I wash away that doubt for a few minutes. 

She's my world. And not a minute goes by that I don't tell her that or tell her how much I love her. I always will. 

Sleep little angel...

These are the moments I love the most. When Adylee needs me. This doesn't happen very often so when it does I treasure every single second of it. She has become so independent within the last few months and I always feel like I'm not needed as much as I used to be. It's always the same routine...I lay down with her while she holds her bottle and drinks it. Then she rolls over, sticks her paci in her mouth and off to sleep she goes. But tonight....tonight she needed me. I got to hold her and hold her bottle for her while she drifted off to sleep. I can't even remember the last time I was able to do that. It makes me feel so wanted when she does things like this. Or when she wakes up in the middle of the night and cries out "mama". Even though I complain about having to wake up in the middle of the night and how I get no sleep, it's still something that makes me feel needed. Because with her, I don't get that very often. Especially now that she is off and running. Pretty soon she's not gonna want me to cuddle her so when the oppurtunity arises, I take it. 

I had always said I would never co-bathe or co-sleep. But since her dad and I split, I have done those. Not because I wanna be defiant against him but because those little moments make memories. So what if she wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes and wants to sleep with me? Ill let her! She's a mamas girl and all that it entails. She looks for me when I walk out of the room. When my mom picks her up from my job because I have to close that night, she comes running to me as soon as I get home. I've been the only constant thing in her life since the beginning. And that will never change. I love my daughter more than life itself. And I will do whatever it takes to make sure that each day she wakes up and knows that her mama loves her with every inch of my body. 

Because one day, she's gonna be a mom herself and I want her to look back on these moments and think "wow, my mom did everything she could for me and that's the way a mom is supposed to be." 

She's my world and then some. I can't wait for all the fun that is to come tomorrow. She makes my days. 

Just remember that you'll always be my baby....

There I was ten years old

Waiting in my room for him to come home

I just knew he'd be so mad

Though I begged my mother not to, she told my dad.

There was no denying I let him down

But instead of being angry

He put his arms around me and said

In the sunlight or the rain, brightest nights or darkest days

I'll always feel the same way

Whatever road you may be on

Know you're never too far gone my love is there wherever you may be

Just remember that you will always be my baby.

There I was twenty one

Oh I was so ashamed of what I'd done

On a country road

Parked one night

What started out so innocent

Crossed the line

There was no denying

I let God down

But instead of being angry

He let his love surround me and I heard

In the sunlight or the rain, brightest nights or darkest days

I'll always feel the same way

Whatever road you may be on

Know you're never too far gone

My love is there wherever you may be

Just remember that you will always be my baby yeah yeah.

There he is my little man

I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then

And I pray to god that when he does

I'll be just as understanding as my father was

'cause the last thing that I want to do is let him down

So instead of being angry

I'm gonna throw my arms around him and I'll say

In the sunlight or the rain, brightest nights or darkest days

I'll always feel the same way whatever road you may be on

No you're never too far gone

My love is there wherever you may be

Just remember that you will always be my baby be my baby

10 Month Update

Adylee turned 10 months on the first and boy has new things started arising already! She always seems to have milestone moments on the first. When she was 4 months she sat up assisted, 6 months she sat up unassisted, 7 months she started crawling. Now at 10 months she is walking. She still crawls a lot and has to pull herself up holding onto something but once she does she's off and running.

I am so proud of my princess. I literally started crying at work when she just kept walking and walking all day long. 

Adulee has such an amazing personality now. She is always laughing, smiling and makes the cutest faces. She is such the litter daredevil too. She has absolutely no fear at all. She's recently learned how to climb and she will climb up the stairs like it's nothing. Her new thing is to climb into her little rocker bouncy seat and stand up in it. The first time I caught her I about had a heart attack. Adylee is such a girly girl but will be someone who I will have to worry about taking those risks all the time. I can definitely see her giving me a run for my money. Lord help me now! 

Some facts about miss Adylee Marie:

-She weighs 21 lbs and 10 oz. My little chunky monkey

-She's 28 inches long

-Wears a size 4/4.5 in shoes

-Clothes wise she is wearing anything from 6-9 months all the way up to 12 months. 

-Is eating table food completely. Hardly eating any baby food anymore unless it's those little Gerber Graduate pouches

-She loves to watch Disney Junior in the morning when she's eating breakfast

-Favorite shows are Sofia and Mickey Mouse

-Takes a pacifier to go to sleep (just started this at 9 months)

-Has to have her princess blanket to hold onto when going to sleep and then has to be covered with one of her leopard blankets

 I am so excited to start getting everything ready for her first birthday party! It's gonna be such an amazing party :)

I was given the best gift possible the day she was born. I literally could not ask for a better daughter. She's everything I dreamed she would be and then some. She's my whole world. I am so lucky to be able to call myself her momma. My little punkin is growing up way too fast for me but I am excited for all the things to come for us in the future.