When she says "mama" I melt....

It's so sad that I have to be a single mom to Adylee since her father decided to remove himself from our lives. But I know that it's only for the best. She knows who loves her and who provides for her. She's my best friend. When I hear her say "mama" at 3 am I can't help but melt into pieces. She needs me. That's when I feel the unconditional love. No matter how much money I make, what I did that day or what I couldn't buy her....she still loves me and she always will. 

Nursery Theme Idea!

I have decided to change Adylee's nursery theme because we are starting a new chapter in our lives this week and it's time to take out the old and start with the new. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out a cute new theme for her that doesn't involve animal print because I want her to have something new and fresh obviously. 

Then I came across this on Pintrest....

And I decided that I had to do a pink and navy theme that has anchors incorporated  Basically a nautical theme but I'm not going to be doing a lot of the fish aspects. Just mainly doing anchors and adding in a few whales. Lots of stripes, chevron and polka dots though!

I will be painting one wall a navy blue and maybe do it half pink as well. I wanna try and replace knobs on her furniture to look something like the below picture.

I'm going to mod podge outlet covers to look something like this:

And lots more navy and pink with the nautical accents. I can't wait to start bringing this idea together after her birthday party. It's been a long time coming for us to start over fresh and new. I have recently become obsessed with anchors and really want to have one of her murals be the anchor that Carter's had on their shirt because I am in love with that design. I plan on also getting an anchor tattooed on me somewhere. Adylee is my anchor and it's only fitting that she now have a theme to express that. 

Planning Adylee's First Birthday!!

I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what I should write next because I want to keep up with this blog more than I have been. So I decided to write a little one about some of the plans I have for miss Adylee's first birthday party that is coming up in just a few weeks.

Her theme was probably the hardest to pick! I had originally wanted to go with cheetah and pink but with the way I wanted to cheetah to look being nearly impossible to find I settled for something a little more Adylee. 

So I picked the one above!! It says "Diva's First Birthday." Which is 100% Adylee and it has both zebra and cheetah. Not to mention that black and pink are my favorite color combination. :)

I am not going to get every single thing in this picture because I do wanna try and save some money on the decorations so I have decided to buy and make some things myself as well as add in a few things. I will be getting everything pink and black to match the theme as well as throwing in the zebra

I plan on making my own happy birthday banner out of card stock, my own collage using mod podge in case I am not able to order the newborn to 1 year photo banner that I want, and my own chalkboard print that will have facts about Adylee on it. As well as making tissue paper pom poms!

One thing I am really excited about doing that I have not seen done before at any of the parties I have gone to is taking a soup can and decorating it to house your silverware for the party. It's so innovative and cheap!

As you may have seen in my other post, I made her tutu for her birthday outfit. 

In addition to this, she will have a black onesie that will have a zebra 1 and have her name underneath in a hot pink/neon. Once I get the picture from the lady making it off etsy I will post :)

I also had a birthday candle made for her that will go on her smash cake. It was hand painted to match her theme but the cheetah side to it since most of the decorations will be zebra print or just pink.

Now onto her cake! I have decided that I won't be doing the traditional cake and smash cake combo. Instead I am having one of my co-workers make her smash cake out of fondant which will be zebra print. Then I will be baking cupcakes and putting hot pink and black frosting on them. Because not everyone eats cake but they do eat cupcakes!

Food wise we're just going to be doing finger foods for the kids like popcorn chicken and for the adults I'm going to have cuban sandwiches. Sides are going to be pasta salad and some fruits and veggies. In addition to that, I'm gonna make graham crackers dipped in chocolate and pink sprinkles for the kids to snack on. I will also be making the zebra & pink cookies that go around on Pintrest alot. Both will be something like what I have pictured below that I got from Pintrest.

Goody bags I am just going to have a candy bar station set up that'll have baby and kid friendly stuff along with a few things for the adults. I'm not going to go all out on goody bags because most of the time you just end up throwing half of the stuff out. The candy will also be like what is pictured above. Something that will go with her theme.

As you can see, everything is going to be pink, black & zebra! Some of our favorite things! I am so excited to start getting everything in order since we only have 3 weeks until her birthday party! I can't wait. It's going to be so much fun decorating and making these things because what I make can last her for a while and can also go into her nursery if I don't decide to change it haha.

I don't regret it...the time we had together

I heard you laughing in a crowd outside a restaurant we used to go to

I caught a glimpse that stopped me in my tracks

It took me back

You looked happy with that little girl up on your shoulders, happy

I know where she got those crystal eyes of blue

Time’s been sweet to you

As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt

I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved

Sometimes life leads you down a different road

When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go

Someday you’ll see the reason why

Sometimes, yeah, sometimes, there’s good in goodbye

I don’t regret it

The time we had together

I won’t forget it

But we both ended up where we belong

I guess goodbye made us strong

And yeah I’m happy

I found somebody too who makes me happy

And I knew one day I’ll see you on the street

And it’d be bittersweet

But as bad as it was, as bad as it hurt

I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved

Sometimes life leads you down a different road

When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go

Someday you’ll see the reason why

Yeah, sometimes, yeah sometimes, there’s good in goodbye

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

As bad as it was, yeah, as bad as it hurt

I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved

Sometimes life leads you down a different road

When you’re holding on to someone that you got to let go

Someday you’ll see the reason why

Yeah, someday you’ll see the reason why

There’s good in goodbye, yeah

Yeah

There's good in goodbye, mmm

DIY Tutorial: How to Make A Tutu

Recently, I made my first tutu ever and boy was it fun, pretty easy and quite cheap. All of my favorites!! So I figured I'd do a little tutorial on it for my readers. There are tons out there I am sure but it never hurts to write your own :)

So first off you're gonna need the basics:

-Tulle (if you're doing one color I recommend 2-3 rolls depending on your model. if bigger than a toddler i would say 4. and if you are doing two or more colors i would say anywhere between 4-5. don't open them all because if you end up not using that many you can always take them back! i used 5 rolls on mine.)

-Elastic (1/2 in works best)

-Scissors (fabric or rotary)

-Needle and thread or sewing machine

The tulle, elastic and scissors I got at Wal-Mart for cheap! The tulle cost me 2.97 per roll, the elastic was like a 1.98 or so and the scissors were 3.00. The sewing part my mom did for me because she had a sewing machine.

The first thing you are gonna do is measure your model's waist. Then cut off 2-3 inches from that. So say the waist size is 20" you're going to cut it down to 17" or 18". I know this seems drastic but the elastic will stretch. 

Then you will cut your tulle which if you use the rolls from Wal-Mart just measure out 20" and cut. You can do longer if you are working with an older model. I used 20" on mine for Adylee and it is perfect. I may end up cutting them a little shorter just cause some end up in her face when she sits down.

After all that, you will sew the elastic together. It'll look like the bottom picture.

From there you will need to find a cylinder or a hanger to hold your elastic while you add your tulle. Don't go for anything too large or it will stretch it even more. I did this with my first one and ended up having to cut it at the end to fit my daughter. 

Once you get it all situated on a cylinder you're going to take your tulle and fold it in half like so:

After that you are going to take it and put it underneath the elastic.

You will then take the bottom part of the tulle and bunch it together in order to bring it through the top, like so:

Once you pull it through you will then pull it tight. Not TOO tight but tight enough so that it is secure. Once you do a couple you will understand what I mean. It's kinda hard to explain in words lol.

Continue doing this until you reach the end. If you want a real fluffy tutu like I made then you're gonna have to push them all together real tight which will reveal some more elastic so just keep adding tulle. Once you reach where you sewed it you will want to 

Once you have finished up using all your tulle you can add a flower or bow to where you sewed it together because it's going to be pretty hard to add tulle to that piece since it sticks out so funky. I have not done that with mine yet since it if for Adylee's first birthday so I have some time. But here is the finished product:

I ended up having to go get more tulle because I ran out and they didn't have the same pink anymore so I had to go through and add in a darker pink but it ended up coming out pretty good for my first tutu.

It's in Gods hands....

Honestly, I don't know how much more I can take. It's always an up and down battle with Bill. He's either so in love with me or he wants nothing to so with me. I'm tired of him hurting me. 

It's not fair to Adylee either. She needs her father around. But she needs someone who is going to be there for her. For every scraped knee to every accomplishment. And so far, he hasn't. That's probably what's hurts the most. 

I'm tired of giving and giving and getting absolutely nothing in return. I can't give my all and not get his all back. Love and relationships are a two way street. Not a one way alley. 

So right now, I'm leaving it up to God. It's all in His hands. I'm not going to sit here and try to force anything. What's meant to be will be. Until then, I'm just gonna keep on praying for an answer. 

11 Month Update

I literally can't believe that my princess is now 11 months old! Only one more month and she'll be a year old. YIKES! This year has flown by so fast. I don't know where the time went. I feel like one minute I'm counting down the hours until I went into labor and now I have an almost one year old child. 

Adylee is weighing 22 lbs and 9 oz these days. BIG GIRL! I seriously don't know where she gets the weight from because she only drinks three 6 oz bottles and then one 8 oz bottle and she has weeks where she just munches. So I was shocked when the doctor told me that at her last visit. Height wise I'm not sure because her doctor only does those on her monthly visits and she doesn't have another one of those till next month. 

Her main thing these days are balls. She is addicted to them. Anytime she sees one she grabs it and won't let go. The minute I try to take it, oh good lord, all hell is breaking loose. 

Her other favorite toy is her baby doll. She loves it and it has to be in her crib with her when she sleeps. She doesn't always cuddle with it but I think knowing its there makes her happy.

Aside from that, she has a huge attachment to me. I expect that since she's only ever been with me. I get a lot of crap for it from everyone but I love it. I'm glad that she knows that with her Mama she is safe from harm. We do a lot of co-sleeping these days so I know that adds to the attachment issues even more. Recently, I began co-bathing and I love it! Such a relaxing time with your baby.

As you can tell from the above picture she is such a little diva and anyone who knows her would vouch for that. Sad part is that she knows it too haha. She can throw a temper tantrum with the best of them these days. But, no matter how mad she gets at me she still comes running up to me just to give me a big hug and a kiss. Those are the moments that make all the temper tantrums worth it.

She's a full blown walker now and it is nearly impossible for me to get a picture of her standing still. As soon as I start to walk back she's walking towards me haha. She's a little ham sometimes. She's also learned a few new words lately: no, mo (more), and yeah. I'm working on "up" right now but shes being stubborn. And still...no teeth. GRRRR!

I am so excited to see what this next month is going to bring us. I feel like every month is different. She either says something or does something new. I am always so proud in those moments. They make me feel like I am doing something right when it comes to her. Like I am actually teaching her and helping her learn. I always blame myself for when something goes wrong with her development because I was so sick and because I had to take so many medications. I know I shouldn't but I do. And when she learns something I wash away that doubt for a few minutes. 

She's my world. And not a minute goes by that I don't tell her that or tell her how much I love her. I always will.