I have loved you for a thousand years...

I was in my living room writing my review on the formula when Adylee started crying in her sleep. I instantly walked into the room, scooped her up, and reassured her that it was okay. I laid her down in my bed and snuggled up real close to her and she fell back asleep. I didn't have the heart to put her back in her crib because she looked so peaceful. But in those few seconds that I got to cuddle with her she laid her tiny hand on mine and I could just feel that unconditional love that we have for each other. 

She's my rock. She keeps me grounded and happy. I just don't know what I would do without her right now. My life is a constant roller coaster and I can't seem to find that balance just yet but when she looks at me and smiles...all my issues disappear. Everything I do is for her. All the constant struggle? For her. The staying up 3-4 hours in the middle of the night just to put her back to sleep? For her. 

I feel like I don't even know who I was before Adylee came along. I can't remember what it was like to be a young adult going out constantly. I feel weird even doing it now that I'm a mom. One of my co-workers just turned 21 and she's asked me go out to the bars with her a few times and I've always said no. I would just rather be home snuggling up to my daughter than going out and getting hit on by random drunks. I've been there. I've done that. I don't feel 22. 

I know that God has a plan for us but sometimes through all the constant struggle and issues with Bill...it's hard to see what that is. But I trust in Him. I just hope and pray that soon everything will get better. It's been a hard year but it's been worth it. 

She's what makes it all worth it.